Monday, November 29, 2010

Calmness

Despite how my situation in life is right now, I feel surprisingly, almost eerily calm about everything. I know special things are in store for me and I can feel them gathering. This year has been one of the hardest I've ever had to go through. I've been in and out of the hospital with bizzare medical problems, had extreme trouble with finances, extreme trouble with school, and Satan has been doing everything in his power to bring me down. And things still are bad. But do you know what this tells me? That I am and was being prepared for something; something important that will affect the rest of my life.

I am READY for whatever God has planned for me. I am ready to go down whatever path He has laid out for me, no matter the cost. Because in the end, I know what's really important.
Even though things seem dark, I know I can't give up because I'm the key to all that's going to happen to me. I am NOT the only one that matters here. If I fall, who knows how many generations I will affect? Without me, the futures of many are at stake and I will be the one that has to answer to the consequences.

Pray always and be believing. Listen to the Holy Ghost, Christ and Heavenly Father. They will NEVER lead you astray. Have faith, be strong; things will work out. All trials work together for our good. Never forget it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Self Esteem and Body Image Issues

I definitely know I'm not the only one with self esteem and body image issues, so I'm going to address the issue head on, no matter how painful or awkward.

Do you ever have those days where you don't want to look in the mirror, you don't want to try on your cutest outfit and you don't want to get out of the house, purely because you feel that the image you see in the mirror doesn't live up to the one in your head? Do you ever hold yourself back when you see a cute guy, the little voice in your head saying you don't stand a chance? I do. I have them all the time. Being and knowing that we are strong, beautiful, confident women has been harder and harder lately when all we see on t.v., in movies and in magazines are who are airbrushed, skinny and bikini clad; women whose appeareances are entirely unrealistic. No wonder we have issues!

But at one point in time, we're all going to have to accept that God made us look different for a purpose and if anyone knows what they're doing, its Him. True, we may want that perfect J-Lo butt (I have one and trust me girls, it's not all its cracked up to be), that anorexic thin waistline, bigger/smaller chests, smaller hips, smaller thighs, smaller everything. We pick and pick at every little minute detail in our reflection until we're a sobbing heap on the floor, fed up with trying because we've deluded ourselves into thinking there's no point in trying anymore. And even though I don't yet believe this about myself, I'm here to tell it to you.

You are a daughter of God, a future wife and a future mother, a sister and a friend. One day soon, a man will look into your eyes and want you to be the person he spends the rest of his life with; you are the person he wants to laugh with, cry with, and care for through the eternities. One day soon your "imperfect" stomach and "wide" hips will carry a child and one day soon, you will hold that child in your arms and they will look at you with loving, adoring eyes. You will be their world.


So every time you look into the mirror and that ugly, little voice rears its head, you turn those comments on their backsides; they have no place in a mind and body, in a temple, such as yours.

And no, to answer your question, I have not yet gotten to this point; but I am getting there. Each and every day I struggle, but I am struggling upwards. And one day, soon I hope, I will look into the mirror and finally believe those wonderful things I say to myself each day.

"I am beautiful, smart, strong and courageous. I am a future wife and a future mother. I am a daughter of God. I am a sister and a friend. I am of infinite worth."
Inspirational Songs and Quotes:
Firework- Katy Perry
Far Away- Ingrid Michaelson
Beautiful You- Jonny Diaz
Before the Morning- Josh Wilson
Hold Me- Jonny Diaz
What Love Really Means- J.J. Heller
Breath of Heaven- Amy Grant
I cannot find my way- Michael Mclean (From the Forgotten Carols)
"Our deepest fear"- Marianne Williamson