Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tired, tired and MORE tired...

I am really sore and really exhausted. Any suggestions to alleviate said symptoms?! And no, sleep is not really an option at this point. My car is falling apart and I really need to get food... except I don't have much money and I need to make it last. Fix car or get food? That is the question. On another note, I splurged and bought the last book in one of my favorite series; it's called Inkdeath. Anyone ever heard of it? So far it's pretty good and I'm looking forward to finishing it. Last night, I babysat Micheyla and John and it was a lot of fun. John was kind of cranky, but he's teething, so it's understandable. I just LOVE taking care of him! He's SOOO cute! Oh and um.....let's see, what else? Errr......there's not much to tell. My life is REALLY boring right now and I feel like I'm just repeating myself. Although, I really want to try my hand at rice pudding, but I don't think I have all of the ingredients...gah....

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Today, continued......

You'll never guess what happened to me at church. I got wrangled (well, not really wrangled) into teaching sunbeams! Phew! I thought it would never end. The kids were super cute and pretty much well behaved, but they just have the attention span of a fruit fly! lol ha ha

And drumroll please......I think i have pretty much all together figured out what I'm going to change my major to. When I was talking to my mum she suggested that maybe the reason why I wasn't getting any answers from my prayers is because maybe I already had the answer; I just wasn't seeing it. I hope this is the right thing to do. I'm not going to change it right away though; I'm going to pray about it first and probably wait to change it until the end of the semester. Let's hope that after I do this, everything else will fall into place and I'll know just what to do and what things to forget about and what things I need to worry about.

Weekend with the Family

I was a little reluctant at first to come home to do homework, but I'm glad I did. I was able to talk with my mum about some things and I've put a few things into perspective, for which I'm grateful for. I'm still on the verge of having the last of my grey matter leak out of my ears, but what the heck. Life goes on. I'm just about to go off to church with my mum and Piper.

My job today is to take Piper to sunbeams. Oh joy. lol We'll see how that goes. She's been sick lately and she's still really cranky and just about everything makes her upset! I will try and update later today, so I'm signing off! I salute you!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I need to get out of here...where the heck are my ruby red slippers?!

Hello all...some blogger I am...posting every week or every few days. Things have just been super busy and super hectic and once again, I am becoming so stir crazy that everything anyone does drives me crazy and I'm just about ready to throw in the towel and live like Gandhi in India. Just think......don't have to worry about balancing school and social life, I won't need to eat, and I definitely won't need to worry about showering or buying unnecessary toiletries because I will have shaved my head! Doesn't that sound like SO much fun?!

Well, considering my situation right now, it looks pretty darn good. I am at my wit's end here people; if any of you have any ideas on how I can keep my sanity and which path i need to start on in life, then by all means, OPEN UP YOUR PIE HOLE!!! I am DESPERATE beyond all reason. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am on the verge ladies and gentlemen; I am on the precipice, teetering back and forth on my toes, ready to close my eyes and leap into the unknown. And I definitely don't want to leap into the unknown flying by the seat of my pants.

Just...I'm at my breaking point. If anything I need reassurance from something, from someone, from anyone. I need some direction and I feel like for some reason, even though I'm praying about all of this, I'm not getting any answers and maybe I need to choose something before God can help me deal with it. the only problem is that I have no idea what to choose or how to figure out how to choose it. I'm flailing here......

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Lovely Weekend!

Sorry I haven't written in a while. Things have been hectic, but I'm a lot happier and really exhausted. I went shopping with my roommate Jordyn, and that was tons of fun. I should go shopping with her more often; she keeps me in line and keeps me from spending too much! I am a major shop-a-holic and today was my release! lol I bought a lot at Bath and Body works; it was a buy three get three free deal! Yay! And I got some new church shoes, which I was sorely in need of! My ballet flats that I have now I have had since I was a sophomore in high school and they are peeling apart at the soles! Hmm....not much else to tell. I will definitely write more tomorrow, when my brain is working faster. I salute you!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Shot in the Butt......not at all how I pictured my day ending!

Getting a shot in the butt is number one, really painful, and number two, really embarrassing. I myself NEVER look at my butt, let alone pull my pants down for someone else to see it and stick a needle in it!!! OUCH!

Onto other more pleasant things, my day was BLERGH to say the least. I could scream out a few choice expletives, but if I did, you'd probably think i was raised on a pirate ship and not in suburban England and a po-dunk town called Rigby, Idaho. Hmm, what else can I say? i really have nothing else to tell. BUT I am going to go shopping on saturday! HURRAH! It's just what I need. Now I just have to tell myself a rough estimate of what I can spend...other wise I could end up blowing my whole checking account on dresses, books and shoes. I'm signing off to go enjoy my pain killers. I salute you!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Happier...or at least getting there.

My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee
Text and Music by Rob Gardner
For a little while
Have I forsaken thee;
But with great mercies will I gather thee.
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee
For a moment.
But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings,
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!
Though thine afflictions seem
At times too great to bear,
I know thine every thought and every care.
And though the very jaws
Of hell gape after thee I am with thee.
And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee,
And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
Though the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
Know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!
How long can rolling waters
Remain impure?
What pow'r shall stay the hand of God?
The Son of Man hath descended below all things.
Art thou greater than He?
So hold on thy way,
For I shall be with thee.
And mine angels shall encircle thee.
Doubt not what thou knowest,
Fear not man, for he
Cannot hurt thee.
And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!"

Take a Look Through my Eyes
There are things in life you'll learn and in time you'll see, cause out there somewhere it's all waiting, If you keep believing.

So don't run, don't hide; It will be all right. You'll see, trust me, I'll be there watching over you.

Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes, everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find, If you look through my eyes.

There will be times on this journey, all you'll see is darkness.

Out there somewhere daylight finds you, if you keep believing.

So don't run, don't hide, it will be all right. You'll see, trust me, I'll be there watching over you.

Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes; Everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find if you look through my eyes.

All the things that you can change,there's a meaning in everything, and you will find all you need.

There's so much to understand, just take a look through my eyes.

There's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes; Everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find if you look through my eyes.

Take a look through my eyes.

-Phil Collins

I had a sort of a breakdown yesterday in front of one of my roommates yesterday about not being able to turn my brain off, about worrying about too many things, etc. and today I feel a lot better. I'm definitely going to try and go somewhere this weekend to clear my head. It's so obvious; that's what I needed to do the whole time to get everything sorted out. I'll go away for a couple of days, clear my head, and come look at everything with a fresh, clean slate. I feel better just talking about it and Iknow that will help.

Onto other news, I took my social dance midterm today on the foxtrot and it was out of ninety-five points...and I got a ninety-five! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I was going to do the midterm on swing, but I'm glad that I decided not to. I also got to talk to Piper on the phone and it was just about the cutest thing ever. She wanted to talk to me after she figured out my mum did! ha ha

I might update later today, depending on how the day goes and how much homework I have, but until then, I'm going to go take a nap! I salute you!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Musings of the inner workings of my brain......

"God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." -Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"I believe in Christ; he stands supreme! From him I'll gain my fondest dream; and while I strive through grief and pain , His voice is heard, 'Ye shall obtain.' I believe in Christ; so come what may, with Him I'll stand, in that great day. When on this earth He comes again to rule among the sons of men."

I've been thinking a lot......which is bad because my brain is working overdrive anyway. I keep thinking about WAY too many things at once; I can't get my brain to give me a break. Any ideas anyone? I'm having trouble having faith in God's plan; that what He's told me really will come true, that I can have a happy fairytale-esque ending, that it is possible for me if only I believe in myself and the plan He has for me. But what he's told me seems just too good to be true, you know? I can't fathom that what I really and truly desperately want deep within myself is possible for me. It just seems like a plot I've made up in one of my LDS Romance novels, not an actual possibility for my life.

I also feel this pressing need to decide on a career path and stay there. Something important that's going to happen to me is looming on the horizon, I can feel it, and I feel like I need to be prepared and I feel like deciding definitely on a career is part of that preparation. One thing is for sure though, these coming months are going to be defining ones. These coming months are going to be the ones that will affect the rest of my life; the ones that will ultimately decide my future and I can only hope and pray that I make the right decisions. God has something amazing in store for me and I'm going to try and do everything I can to be prepared for it.

Oh yeah, and P.S. I NEED to get out of Idaho! I am going to go completely stark raving mad if I don't! I feel like I need a change of atmosphere. I feel stifled. I need a change of scenery, a chance to recharge my batteries. I'm surrounded by the typical "Mormon" steryotype all the time; I'm surrounded by it when I'm living at home in Rigby and then it comes at me from all sides, ten fold, when I'm up at school in Rexburg. I need to see things from a different point of view and to not feel like a sinner when I look at something differently.I need a trip out of state! Anyone want to drive to Salt Lake City next weekend? ANYONE?!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

First Post! WOOHOO!

"So if you care to find me Look to the western sky! As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!" And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who'd ground me, take a message back from me! Tell them how I am Defying gravity! I'm flying high, Defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown, and nobody in all of Oz, No Wizard that there is or was, Is ever gonna bring me down! "

No matter what I do with my life, it is going to be something brilliant. Whether I make it all the way to Broadway and show my talents to the world, finish my degree and teach theatre or glee or I get married in the temple, have a career :) and have a whole mess of wonderful, beautiful, intelligent children that would make the Duggar's green with envy. Whatever I do, I will do it with pride.

Now, the only thing left to do is to figure out what God wants me to do, and to follow whatever He has in store for me. I will pray and ponder and soldier on with life and do whatever is asked of me. I have the tools I need to succeed and I will do whatever I can to figure out what my divine destiny is.