LOVE

These are my thoughts for today. My heart is so incredibly full of love for my family, love for God, love for my friends. I feel so incredibly blessed to be alive in this moment.

"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end." -Author Unknown

Life is getting a little easier to handle, but school is not...

You know, I went to the temple the other day and had some things very clearly explained to me through the Holy Ghost. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting, and they definitely weren't the answers to the questions I had, but now I know that everything is going to work out, even if school doesn't... what really matters most in the eternal perspective of things? Hmmm? What matters most is that my connection with God stays strong. He will always be there for me, even if I fail in something as important as school. Now don't get me wrong, I'm turning myself inside out to do well in school, but it's not really working. I am studying, I am doing homework and I am working hard, I just can't keep up with any of it and I can't focus on anything that I don't understand very well. At any rate, I'm probably going to have to retake a couple of my classes, which REALLY sucks, but I'm trying my hardest which I guess is what counts. I am extremely blessed and lately I've been able to see more of my blessings.

I have wonderful friends and family and roommates who will be there for me when I need them

I have a relationship with God that is only getting stronger by the day

I have a connection with my future that I never thougt in my wildest dreams would be fathomable, let alone POSSIBLE.

I am strong and talented and loving and so determined to do well that it hurts.

I have food to eat, a place to sleep, clothes to wear and shoes to put on my feet.

And I have the gospel.

Everything else will work out. Trials are for the good of mankind. I will get stronger by fighting through them and enduring them with grace and dignity. I only hope that I can do what God knows I can do.

When did life get so hard and confusing?

I don't want to be at college. I don't want to be here anymore. All of my friends seem happy and well adjusted; they seem like they know what they're doing and that they're confident in the fact that it will work out. Why am I so confused? Why do I hate it here so much?! I thought I knew what I wanted; I thought I knew what God wanted for me and that I was doing that. How is it that I read things the wrong way all the time?! Or am I reading them the wrong way? Who knows?! I sure as heck don't... I have the greatest family and friends in the whole world, but I've never felt so alone in all my life than when I'm making a decision that will ultimately impact the rest of my life. Yeah, I ask questions and I talk to people and get opinions, but ultimately, it comes down to the decisions that I make and what I think and feel. Someone please rescue me. I don't know if I can make it through to the end of the semester. I'm scared to make decisions that will impact me for the rest of my life. What if I make the wrong ones? Even with the Lord's help? I am tired, I am sick and I am exhausted. I just want someone to take this from me. I just want some help...