As of late, I have been scared, unsure, doubtful and exhausted in every way that it is possible to be exhausted. In my previous post I said, "Have you ever reached that situation where you don't know how you survived up to that point, and you don't know how you can go on, you don't know how much you have left to give and you're just......tired? And you just want to have control over one thing in your life for once, even if it's just for a few minutes? And you just want to be able to see what's in your future because you're so exhausted from stumbling blindly for so long in the darkness until the light somehow miraculously shows up at the end of the tunnel? I just want to be sure of things. Just once."
But, after talking with some very dear friends of mine yesterday, one of them pointed something out to me, commenting on something I mentioned. He said that even though I have said that I am so spiritually and mentally exhausted that I cannot move even if I want to, that even when I ask questions of our Father in Heaven such as, "I can't DO this anymore. I can't MOVE. What more do you want of me? What more can I do? What do you want me to do?" He said that this is a sign of humility and that even though I'm tired, I still want to do God's will and that is what really matters. I know that now, and I also know that my life, this life, was not meant to be an easy one. There is a greater work for me to do, one that is bigger and brighter than myself, something that I cannot even comprehend or fathom. And in order to prepare me for that greater work, I must be put through the refiner's fire. There is no other way. I am meant to swim in deep waters.
" My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;