Monday, December 20, 2010


I saw this movie with my friend Jessica and I absolutely LOVE it! I've been waiting for Disney to do a Rapunzel movie for YEARS for obvious reasons and this one is just absolutely spectacular! This is my favorite song from the movie. ENJOY. It just screams me and what I've gone through in life and what I hope my true love to be like when I find it.

All those days watching from the windows

All those years outside looking in

All that time never even knowing

Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight

Now I'm here, suddenly I see

Standing here, it's all so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you


All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here, suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):

And at last I see the light

Eugene (Flynn):

And it's like the fog is lifted

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):

And at last I see the light


And it's like the sky is new

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything is different

Now that I see you, now that I see you

Monday, December 6, 2010


Do you know what's weird? What's weird is that losing something you never had hurts just as much or more so than losing something you did have. It's like your dream/fantasy is no longer possible because all of the random variables are no longer in play, they don't matter anymore; the book has closed. Something you've always kept in the back of your mind, on the back burner, just in case. And when it's gone, even though you had no control over it, you feel a little sad and your heart breaks a little.

"My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, leave you blind

My love, you have found peace

You were searching for release

You gave it all into the call

You took a chance and

You took the fall for us

You came thoughtfully

Loved me faithfully

You taught me honor

You did it for me

Tonight you will sleep for good

You will wait for me, my love

Now I am strong, you gave me all

You gave all you had

And now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, leave you blind

My love, look what you can do

I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand and added a plan

You gave me your heart

I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly

Did what you could release

Ah, ooh

I know you're pleased to go

I won't relieve this love

Now I am strong, you gave me all

You gave all you had

And now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, I'll be with you"

-My Love, By Sia

"Faith... sustains the soul through moments that otherwise would destroy us." -Emily Freeman

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Love Quotes!

Okay, so I got bored. This happens a lot. ENJOY!

• "Faith... sustains the soul through moments that otherwise would destroy us." -Emily Freeman

"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, so will love be perfected in pain."

Marvin Jay M. Torres

A priceless moment is when the person that you have fallen in love with, looks you right in the eyes to tell you that they have fallen in love with you.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. ~Ben Hecht

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,

A song is no song 'til you sing it,

And love in your heart

Wasn’t put there to stay -

Love isn’t love

'Til you give it away.

~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, "You Are Sixteen (Reprise)"

Love is no respecter of age or practicality

Neither morality: unabashed

She enters where she will

Unheeding that her immortal fires

Burn up human hearts...

~Phillip Pulfrey, from Beyond Me,

When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. ~Natalie Clifford Barney

A hundred hearts would be too few

To carry all my love for you.

~Author Unknown

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ~Author unknown, as printed in The Hoosier Farmer

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. ~Lynda Barry

Sometimes the shortest distance between two points is a winding path walked arm in arm. ~Robert Brault,

The love game is never called off on account of darkness. ~Tom Masson

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. ~E.Y. "Yip" Harburg and Fred Saidy, dialogue just before the song "Old Devil Moon" in the musical Finian's Rainbow

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. ~Zora Neale Hurston

Will you love me in December as you do in May,

Will you love me in the good old fashioned way?

When my hair has all turned gray,

Will you kiss me then and say,

That you love me in December as you do in May?

~James J. Walker

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,

After the day's great sun.

~Charles Hanson Towne

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. ~Erich Segal

Love is being stupid together. ~Paul Valery

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. ~Blaise Pascal, Pensées, 1670

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. ~Bruce Lee

When you're attracted to someone it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously, so what we know as fate is two neuroses knowing that they're a perfect match. ~Jeff Arch, Nora Ephron, and David S. Ward, Sleepless in Seattle

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. ~Voltaire

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. ~William Shakespeare

"God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." -Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Look at me

I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter

Can it be im not meant to play this part

Now i see that if i were truely to be myself

I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see

staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I dont know?

Somehow I can not hide

who i am, though i've tried

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

When will my reflection show who I am inside...?

-Refelction, Disney's Mulan

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, you're always letting someone down? I feel like that right  now. I think that even if I did have a job, my mum would still get angry. "We need to pay for this, make sure you tell me these things, how come you didn't tell me?, why didn't you ask me?"

I don't ask her for money because I know what she'll say. She'll say we don't have enough. As IF I don't already know. She'll want me to pay her back, which she knows I can't, so why does she give me money in the first place? I don't tell her money problems (mainly car problems) because I know what her answer will be to those too. "We don't have enough money right now." GOSH DARN IT! Can't she see that all I want to do is to make her happy? All I want is for her to look and me and be proud, not dissapointed or annoyed. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, it's never enough. I could be married, with a job and babies and a big house and three dogs and she would still find something! Or at least that's what I feel like she would do. Ok, maybe I'm not trying as hard as I should to find a job, but you know what? NO EMPLOYER IS GOING TO WANT TO TAKE ME WITH A MONTH LEFT UNTIL I LEAVE FOR SCHOOL, EVEN IF IT IS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

I just want to do something that will make her proud. Mum, I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be, but for the time being......could you stop making me feel so worthless?

Monday, November 29, 2010


Despite how my situation in life is right now, I feel surprisingly, almost eerily calm about everything. I know special things are in store for me and I can feel them gathering. This year has been one of the hardest I've ever had to go through. I've been in and out of the hospital with bizzare medical problems, had extreme trouble with finances, extreme trouble with school, and Satan has been doing everything in his power to bring me down. And things still are bad. But do you know what this tells me? That I am and was being prepared for something; something important that will affect the rest of my life.

I am READY for whatever God has planned for me. I am ready to go down whatever path He has laid out for me, no matter the cost. Because in the end, I know what's really important.
Even though things seem dark, I know I can't give up because I'm the key to all that's going to happen to me. I am NOT the only one that matters here. If I fall, who knows how many generations I will affect? Without me, the futures of many are at stake and I will be the one that has to answer to the consequences.

Pray always and be believing. Listen to the Holy Ghost, Christ and Heavenly Father. They will NEVER lead you astray. Have faith, be strong; things will work out. All trials work together for our good. Never forget it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Self Esteem and Body Image Issues

I definitely know I'm not the only one with self esteem and body image issues, so I'm going to address the issue head on, no matter how painful or awkward.

Do you ever have those days where you don't want to look in the mirror, you don't want to try on your cutest outfit and you don't want to get out of the house, purely because you feel that the image you see in the mirror doesn't live up to the one in your head? Do you ever hold yourself back when you see a cute guy, the little voice in your head saying you don't stand a chance? I do. I have them all the time. Being and knowing that we are strong, beautiful, confident women has been harder and harder lately when all we see on t.v., in movies and in magazines are who are airbrushed, skinny and bikini clad; women whose appeareances are entirely unrealistic. No wonder we have issues!

But at one point in time, we're all going to have to accept that God made us look different for a purpose and if anyone knows what they're doing, its Him. True, we may want that perfect J-Lo butt (I have one and trust me girls, it's not all its cracked up to be), that anorexic thin waistline, bigger/smaller chests, smaller hips, smaller thighs, smaller everything. We pick and pick at every little minute detail in our reflection until we're a sobbing heap on the floor, fed up with trying because we've deluded ourselves into thinking there's no point in trying anymore. And even though I don't yet believe this about myself, I'm here to tell it to you.

You are a daughter of God, a future wife and a future mother, a sister and a friend. One day soon, a man will look into your eyes and want you to be the person he spends the rest of his life with; you are the person he wants to laugh with, cry with, and care for through the eternities. One day soon your "imperfect" stomach and "wide" hips will carry a child and one day soon, you will hold that child in your arms and they will look at you with loving, adoring eyes. You will be their world.

So every time you look into the mirror and that ugly, little voice rears its head, you turn those comments on their backsides; they have no place in a mind and body, in a temple, such as yours.

And no, to answer your question, I have not yet gotten to this point; but I am getting there. Each and every day I struggle, but I am struggling upwards. And one day, soon I hope, I will look into the mirror and finally believe those wonderful things I say to myself each day.

"I am beautiful, smart, strong and courageous. I am a future wife and a future mother. I am a daughter of God. I am a sister and a friend. I am of infinite worth."
Inspirational Songs and Quotes:
Firework- Katy Perry
Far Away- Ingrid Michaelson
Beautiful You- Jonny Diaz
Before the Morning- Josh Wilson
Hold Me- Jonny Diaz
What Love Really Means- J.J. Heller
Breath of Heaven- Amy Grant
I cannot find my way- Michael Mclean (From the Forgotten Carols)
"Our deepest fear"- Marianne Williamson

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

"What if God was one of us?"

Why is it so hard? I AM trying....When you want something so much it hurts and it's so cruelly out of reach. Or even worse, it's so tantalizingly close you can taste it and almost touch it, and it's just barely out of reach. And it's worse even still, when the current life situation you're in makes you wish for it and want it that much more. And it breaks your heart in two knowing there's a very real possibility that it might not happen, and then you'll never get out and you will be there always, living with the memory of what you have lost.

Prayers and scripture study are life savers in situations like this. I only hope I can keep the faith...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Beauty Essentials.

Well, I'm bored and that's usually what happens when I make a post. lol So, here it goes. Here are some of my beauty essentials that I could not live without!!!

1. Clean and Clear Morning Burst Face Wash
2. Clearasil Overnight Face Wash
3. Neautrogena Moisturizer for combination skin
4. Burt's Bees Chapstick
5. Straight Solution (Protects hair from all damage due to heat styling appliances. Plus, it makes my hair silky soft and smooth.)
6. Aussie Three Minute Miracle Conditioning Treatment ( I can live without this, I just REALLY like it. ha ha)
7. Loreal mineral foundation powder
8. blow dryer (I have a lot of long, very thick hair. Air drying is a luxury I can't afford sometimes. ha ha )
9. French Braids (These NEVER go out of style. They give you a cute hairstyle after getting out of the shower and provide a new hair-do the next day when you take them out and have lovely waves!)

Okay, I'm done. Love you all...whichever nutcases are actually reading this random depressing blog.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It is 1:44 am and I cannot for the life of me figure out why I am still up......

I cannot turn myself off! I keep going and going and going and going! I'm not really tired; I'm a little sleepy, sure, but who isn't 99% of the time, anyway? I have made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (on corn tortillas with plum jam. Not the same thing, I know, but still.), made a HUGE batch of chicken salad with green onions and celery (not really the way I like to eat it, but as we didn't have red grapes or cashews, that option was obviously out.), watched Adam Sandler's Bedtime Stories (You know that weird English guy with the bad teeth and hair that is his best friend? Any other time he drives me crazy, but he makes me laugh in this movie.) and fooled around on the internet until....1:49 am. Help.... I can't turn myself off......

Friday, August 13, 2010

MARYLAND!!! The trip!!!

Maryland is pretty much the most awesome thing EVER! We've gone to the beach and gotten hyper off of brownies and large amounts of sugary things, spent hours in borders and doneother very top secret things which you aren't allowed to known until I've debriefed everyone. ha ha Anyways, just wanted to update!

Saturday, July 31, 2010


My trip is in three days! I am SOOOO excited, but I've still got a ton of things to do before Tuesday morning...finishing packing, arranging my carry-on, picking up prescriptions, etc... urgh...BUT on the brightside I will be getting out of Idaho for two whole GLORIOUS weeks! What could be better than that?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Everyone, let it be known that I am awesome!

The semester is almost done! HURRAY! I am REALLY excited. I have three finals left, but I've decided I don't really care! I will study for them of course, (Like I should be doing now....) but if I do terribly then I won't worry and if I do well, then I will be happy. It's as simple as that. I have so many exciting new opportunities awaiting me as I near the end of this year's semester and I can't wait to get started. To friends old and new, here I come! Stephanie is back!

Sunday, July 4, 2010


I just want to cry......what do I do? School is REALLY hard. I don't know if I can make it through the next few weeks of school. Things at home are hard. And the only person I want to see is half way around the world...... I am so tempted to just give up. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.....what more can I do? How much more of myself can I sacrifice for others before I crack?! They said I would always have a place to come home to......all I want is my own room! A room that's not covered in dress-up shoes and dolls. I want to be able to have my own space so I can function properly!I have given up EVERYTHING for them. They walk all over me like I don't matter and every time I try to stand up for myself, they say I'm overreacting. When will someone start taking care of me instead of the other way around?

Friday, June 11, 2010


These are my thoughts for today. My heart is so incredibly full of love for my family, love for God, love for my friends. I feel so incredibly blessed to be alive in this moment.

"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end." -Author Unknown

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Life is getting a little easier to handle, but school is not...

You know, I went to the temple the other day and had some things very clearly explained to me through the Holy Ghost. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting, and they definitely weren't the answers to the questions I had, but now I know that everything is going to work out, even if school doesn't... what really matters most in the eternal perspective of things? Hmmm? What matters most is that my connection with God stays strong. He will always be there for me, even if I fail in something as important as school. Now don't get me wrong, I'm turning myself inside out to do well in school, but it's not really working. I am studying, I am doing homework and I am working hard, I just can't keep up with any of it and I can't focus on anything that I don't understand very well. At any rate, I'm probably going to have to retake a couple of my classes, which REALLY sucks, but I'm trying my hardest which I guess is what counts. I am extremely blessed and lately I've been able to see more of my blessings.

I have wonderful friends and family and roommates who will be there for me when I need them

I have a relationship with God that is only getting stronger by the day

I have a connection with my future that I never thougt in my wildest dreams would be fathomable, let alone POSSIBLE.

I am strong and talented and loving and so determined to do well that it hurts.

I have food to eat, a place to sleep, clothes to wear and shoes to put on my feet.

And I have the gospel.

Everything else will work out. Trials are for the good of mankind. I will get stronger by fighting through them and enduring them with grace and dignity. I only hope that I can do what God knows I can do.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

When did life get so hard and confusing?

I don't want to be at college. I don't want to be here anymore. All of my friends seem happy and well adjusted; they seem like they know what they're doing and that they're confident in the fact that it will work out. Why am I so confused? Why do I hate it here so much?! I thought I knew what I wanted; I thought I knew what God wanted for me and that I was doing that. How is it that I read things the wrong way all the time?! Or am I reading them the wrong way? Who knows?! I sure as heck don't... I have the greatest family and friends in the whole world, but I've never felt so alone in all my life than when I'm making a decision that will ultimately impact the rest of my life. Yeah, I ask questions and I talk to people and get opinions, but ultimately, it comes down to the decisions that I make and what I think and feel. Someone please rescue me. I don't know if I can make it through to the end of the semester. I'm scared to make decisions that will impact me for the rest of my life. What if I make the wrong ones? Even with the Lord's help? I am tired, I am sick and I am exhausted. I just want someone to take this from me. I just want some help...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Nooo motivation......whatsoever.......

I have a good question, and if anyone can answer, please, feel free. Why is it, that even though I KNOW I'm supposed to be going to college at BYU-Idaho, that I have no desire to be there? That I'm just about ready to say 'forget it' and move on? It's an interesting conumdrum that is boggling my mind. And I don't like it. It makes me feel more conflicted than I want to be with all of the other stuff on my mind. I have no motivation to do homework, no motivation to do well. It doesn't make any sense. WHY IS THAT?! URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just have to keep going to school, to keep trying to do well in school, even though I don't want to and i think that's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I know better things are coming and I feel really at peace with answers I've gotten and decisions I've made, I'm just really impatient for them to get here. Any advice?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I have come to the realization that......

I have come to the realization that I totally SUCK at keeping an updated blog. But when you are missing a missionary, school is slowly choking you to death and you have a double ear infection, suddenly, posting a blog doesn't really seem all that important. ha ha

Anywho, did you all know I'm going to MARYLAND in August?! Yes ladies and gentlemen, that's right! I can't wait. I'd rather drop out of school...I HATE college. Whoda thunk? That ME, Stephanie Ann McMurtrey, lover of high school, would hate college? Weird, right? Well, I do. I totally wouldn't be at college if I didn't have to. BUT, I am at home as of right now, waiting for a fantabulous mother's day celebration to start, so I will go. Love you! Post more later!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Start of a New Semester......oh goody......

Despite earlier reservations about starting classes, I'm really excited. I have just about THE most awesome classes, except for math and they're shaping up to be really fun. I'll post more later. I need to be doing homework......

This song just totally popped into my head.....enjoy!

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you
I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me (Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me (No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby (Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole
Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant I'm single (Right now)
That's how I wanna be I'm single (Right now)
That's how I wanna be
Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good (I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should (Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood


Everything in it's right time
everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way
Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

Friday, April 16, 2010

I did it, I'm doin' it!!! GLEE AUDITIONS!!!

HURRAY!!! I finally sucked it up and did it...... YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

From This Moment

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse, I will love you with every beat of my heart.)
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment
I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live I will love you,
I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live I will love you,
I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

Swimming at Heise......tra la la la la

Well, I'm going to go swimming today with my sister Amanda and her daughter, Piper. That should be interesting...I hate wearing swimsuits...sometimes it makes me feel more exposed than if I were in ballet class prancing around only in my leo, tights and butt shorts......and that my friends, is pretty exposed. Especially when you're the curviest person in class and the rest of the girls look like they might break if they twisted their leg into an arabesque the wrong way......

ANYWAY, that's what I'm doing today. And then I'm going to concoct something delicious out of basically NO ingredients....I'm thinking something along the lines of stuffed potatoes....bake the potatoes, scoop out the inside, make some hamburger with tomato sauce and cheese and stuff the potato and hamburger and cheese back into the potato skin and BAKE!!! It sounds like it'll work in my head, but we'll see. I'll give you an update on how it turns out. ha ha

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

To Glee or Not to Glee......that is the question......

Part of me can see what would happen if by nothing short of a miracle I actually made it onto Glee, it would be everything I had ever dreamed of happening; everything that I have been working towards since I was a sophomore in high school. But if I made it......would it be worth it? Would it be worth giving up the other things I dream of? Like, getting married to my best friend, getting a college degree, raising a family......would all of that stuff take a back seat to my career? Is that what I really want? I only have a short time to decide what I want, what I really want and I hope to high heaven that I make the right decision. Pray with all that you have, because I'm going to need it. The decisions I make in the next couple of days, not to sound melodramatic or anything, (But whether or not you realize it, every decision you make has some impact on your future), will affect the rest of my life.

Much love.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Songs of note...ha ha ha

Go the Distance, Hercules

"I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there somedayI can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting starI can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms..."

I'm Almost There, The Princess and the Frog

"Mama! I don't have time for dancing!
That's just gonna have to wait a while
Ain't got time for messing around
And it's not my style
This old town can slow you down
People taking the easy way
But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I�ve had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now �cause
I'm almost there
I remember Daddy told me: �Fairytales can come true
You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you
"So I work real hard each and every day
Now things for sure are going my way
Just doing what I do
Look out boys, I'm coming through
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People gonna come here from everywhere
And I'm almost thereI'm almost there
There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!"

Sunday, April 11, 2010

People who are tone deaf should not be allowed to sing......and other musings of a boring sunday...

Yeah, let's just say people who are tone deaf...they get on my nerves. Even if as a person they are super cute and fun and awesome...I just don't like them singing off key at the top of their lungs right in my ear... I kind of just want to tell them to stop, you know? Is that totally awful of me?

Oh and another of my friend's family knows about the missionary... am I that transparent????

Oh and another thing, people need to mind their own business and pull their heads out!!! I was at my friend's wedding reception yesterday (Eric Tinker) and his new wife's family is HORRIBLY nosy and gossipy and self-righteous and all that jazz. I brought my three year old niece with me to the reception so she could play with my other niece (Micky) and Eric's wife's family, while they walked through the line were all like, "Oh my, that girl looks awfully young to have a child that old..." (They said all of this to Eric's mother!) GRRR! I was almost tempted to say, "Yeah she's mine, what of it?"Isn't that awful? At least three different people said that! Is it my fault that my niece looks more like me than her mother?! NO! Sheesh people! Anywho....dinner is almost done...and I'm still trying to devise a way of getting out of Idaho...any ideas? And no, stealing my mother's credit card is NOT an option...yet...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Finals are over! WOOHOO!

I'm SOOO glad finals are over. After they were done, I decided I didn't care! he he, then I completed the move to my new room in my apartment and now I am at home in Rigby for the week long break. I intend to do something spectacular, though I'm not sure what that is... first, I am watching Hercules with Piper! And then...a shower? he he he I'll keep you posted! Mwah! Love you all!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

More and more often, this little blurb here has become my anthem. I keep finding myself coming back to it.

Anyway, finals are almost done, I just have one more to go! WOO HOO! It's British Literature and quite possibly my hardest one, I just need to get a good grade on it.... cross your fingers and pray lots for me? :) Also, I have a REALLY bad stress headache. Any ideas on how to get rid of it? I would welcome them, whatever they are.

I need to devise a way of staying sane over the break. I can't go to Salt Lake by myself, A- because I don't have any money, B- because my car would probably blow up and C- I can barely drive in Idaho Falls traffic, let alone something going for different ways just it the city. Urgh, SO wish I could go somewhere. I'll just settle with being content with working on my audition video...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Convergence of the Twain

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am having so much trouble memorizing this agonizingly ridiculous poem!! Why is that? I can memorize scripts and songs just fine! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty much fine until about the seventh stanza (there are eleven) and then i get all mixed up! I hate British Literature right now. Grrr.......

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I am going to prepare an audition for GLEE even if it kills me! By April 26th, 2010, I will have submitted a video to myspace and kicked everyone's TRASH and the producers/directors of GLEE will realize they have found the next big thing!!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Have you ever felt SO bone dead tired that all of your joints ache? Like the connections at your elbows, at your knees, at your shoulders, etc. And you have a monstrous headache and ear aches on top of it.... That's kind of how I feel right now... I think my body is trying to get sick...but I'm not letting it because I have WAY too many things to do between now and the end of the semester. I am SOOO ready to be done with this semester. I am SO sick of an hour and a half of British Literature, an incompetent and annoying hag bent on running me and the class into the ground with useless, tedious and time consuming busy work and a Family Foundations class where I just waste my time because I already know all of the information and the teacher dislikes me because I actually have an opinion and it's REALLY different from anyone elses. I need a break....and I intend on getting to Salt Lake City......somehow.... ha ha anyone care to help me with that?

"Shed no tears for me
There'll be rain enough today
I'm wishing you godspeed
As I wave you on your way
This won't be the first time
I've stayed behind to face
The bitter consequences
Of an ancient fall from grace
I'm a daughter of the race of Cain
I am not a stranger to the rain

Orphan in the storm
That's a role I've played before
I've learned not to tremble
When I hear the thunder roar
I don't curse what I can't change
I just play the hand I'm dealt
When they lighten up the rations
I tighten up my belt
I won't say I've never felt the pain
But I am not a stranger to the rain

And for the boy who's given me the sweetest love I know
I wish for you another love so you won't be alone
Because I am bound to walk among the wounded and the slain
And when the storm comes crashing on the plain
I will dance before the lightning to music sacred and profane

Oh, shed no tears for me
Light no candle for my sake
This journey I'll be making
Is one we all must make
Shoulder to the wind
I'll turn my face into the spray
And when the heavens open
Let the drops fall where they may
If they finally wash away the stain
From a daughter of the race of Cain
I am not a stranger to the rain

Let it rain

-Stranger to the Rain, Children of Eden

Monday, March 29, 2010

I know what I'm going to do......

I've finally decided what I'm going to do. All of the other things I was THINKING of doing, just felt wrong, even when I was just thinking of doing them. Anyone else who disagrees with what I think can just stick it in their juice box and suck it. I'm going to cut off contact (or at least what I can manage to do) with that person and I'm probably going to delete their number from my phone. I don't need to worry about it and I don't need to keep thinking about changing my mind, because I already know what I'm going to do. I'm not going to change my mind about my current dating situation anytime soon because I'm not going to get myself into a heap of ridiculous trouble because I decided I wanted to disobey God again. it's just not going to happen. So yes people, I may be a hermit and I may be that way for a few more months, but you know what...? It's MY decision. I'm going to do what feels right to me. I'm going to do what I feel and believe that God has told me to do. I may get my heart broken and I may be squished into the floor with humiliation and stupidity, but then again, I may not. That's the beauty of hope and answers to prayers; they have the ability to go either way. I have faith that I'm making the right decision. Any other comments or suggestions? Good, that's what i thought. So all I'm asking is that you support me in the answers to prayers that I've gotten. I know that just because God told me to wait for that particular time, doesn't mean that when it gets here, that every thing that encompasses that particular situation, isn't going to happen. It's going to take some time and even after that, it may not happen at all. I UNDERSTAND that it might not. Just let me do what I believe to be right, okay?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

All I ever wonder......

"These violent delights have violent ends, And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume." -The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene vi

All I ever wonder at the end of the day is if I did the right thing. If the decisions I've made are the right ones. Life is a gift to us through which we live to glorify our Father in Heaven and to work hard and prove to ourselves and to Him that we are worthy to come back into his presence. When your life starts to fall apart as mine has, it's hard to know where to start; where to pick up the pieces. If you're falling apart from the inside you start with yourself, or with others? And if you're to start putting yourself back together through others, how do you do it, how do you help them if you can't even take care of yourself? It's a puzzling conumdrum, one of which I am having trouble with. I'm not sure where to start, either with myself or with others.

Monday, March 22, 2010

It all depends on my faith in God......

Sitting in Children's Literature while my teacher blathered on about something relatively unimportant, I decided this. My success in life all depends on my faith in God. Without that key component, I won't be able to function. I need to have faith that the blessings God has promised me in my patriarchal blessing WILL come to pass in their own time. I need to remember that and not get impatient. I need to remember that they WILL happen, even if I doubt their validity sometimes. Like I said before, I'm just taking one step at a time, one day at a time, because I know that somehow, even though it doesn't seem like it... I'll get through it. I can't give up. I need to keep the faith and believe in myself and the plan God has for me. I'm just having a hard time doing it.

"Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved"

-Josh Groban


Wow, I think I must be THE worst blogger in the world! ha ha Well you know what? I've decided to make the best out of what I have been given because there is nothing else for me to do besides that. I just need to suck it up and remember that God wouldn't be God if He didn't know what he was doing. I just need to remember that. I'll post later...but now I have to get ready for class. Urgh...I SOOOO can't wait for the semester to be over with! I'm sick of this nonsense! haha

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Is there something wrong with me?

Why can't I be happy? Why can't I enjoy the blessings that God has given me? Why is it, that everytime I look in the mirror, I wish it wasn't me looking back? Why don't I have any hope anymore? Is it so wrong of me not to want to date? What is so WRONG with me, that guys never give me a second glance? Everyone expects me to go out on dates and laugh and be care free and have fun, but how can I do that if no one ever asks me to go anywhere? I feel like I'm back in high school, the fat bookworm no one pays attention to...except I'm not in high school anymore. I want so much; I want so many things. I want to have a career; I want to get married in the temple;I want to have children and to finally hold a son or daughter in my arms, cradling them, knowing that they're mine, a part of me forever. I want all of that so much that it aches in places I didn't even know existed, but the more I go through life, the more experiences I have, the more I'm convinved that this will never happen for me. I have been through WAY too much. I'm going to be the Runaway Dater for the rest of my life because I can't form attatchments, I can't just relax and have fun; I bolt each and every chance I get. I am ruined for life. Dating is just uncomfortable for me and the guy I want to date, the guy who is easy to date, isn't here and it's more than likely that I'm just building him up in my head and it will NEVER happen. Why do I do this to myself? I can't picture finding the right one for me, ever. I can't picture or even fathom a person that I never want to leave, never want to lose, want to spend the rest of eternity with. It just seems like a fairytale and I'm the Ugly Stepsister. Is it asking too much to just want to be happy? For all the things I want to come true and not be just cruelly out of reach?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Okay, so here is my explanation......

My dear, dear friends, it has been an excruciatingly long time since I made a post. A VERY long time. My life has been so hectic it's pretty much made my head spin with me vomiting pea soup or something gross like that...... Anyway, it's been bad. This journey of self discovery has been a hard one lately. Such as the mechanics screwing me over and now I have basically no money left to live on for the four remaining weeks of the semester. I am completely broke. and I got a parking ticket. TOTALLY lame. If there was more parking near the Benson, then this NEVER would have happened!!! Like I have the money for ANOTHER parking sticker! Despite what people may think about my various and useful skills, I CANNOT pull money out of my butt. It's just not happening. Besides, who wants money that's been pulled out of a butt????

All I know is, is that God MUST have something amazing and great and wonderful in store for me, otherwise he wouldn't be putting me through this. That just has to be it. "If God Brings You To It, He Will Guide You Through It." I dearly and sincerely hope that I have enough faith for this to work. Satan is definitely taking advantage of my weakened spiritual state right now and it feels like He is doing everything in his power to make me fail. But you know what? I. WILL. NOT. LET. IT. HAPPEN. I won't allow it. I will find some way, somehow, to pull myself up and out of the dark hole that I'm in.

On another note, I have officially changed my major, and it is staying that way. I am a Theatre and Speech Education Major with a minor in English Education. I'm going to be THE most amazing Drama-Theatre/Glee teacher in the history of mankind. END of story. It is not necessarily the answer that I wanted, but it's the one that I got, so I'm going to make the best of it. If anything, I have learned the hard way what happens when you go against God's plan. It's not pretty and I don't intend to spend my life trying to weasel my way around what he wants for me. I'm going to listen and do what He says; even if I don't like it, even if I HATE it. I'm gonna do it because I know that God knows what's best for me.

There's a light In the darkness
Though the night Is black as my skin
There's a light Burning bright
Showing me the way
But i know where i've been
There's a cry In the distance
It's a voice That comes from deep within
There's a cry Asking why I pray
the answer's up ahead
yeah' Cause i know where i've been
There's a road
We've been travelin'
Lost so many on the way
But the riches
Will be plenty Worth the price
The price we had to pay
There's a dream In the future
There's a struggle That we have yet to win
And there's pride In my heart
'Cause i know where i'm going
Yes I do !And i know where i've been Yeah

There's a road (There's a road)
We must travel (We must travel)
There's a promise (There is a promise)
We must make (That we must make)
But the riches (oh but the riches)
Will be plenty (The riches will be plenty)
Worth the risk (Worth the risk)
And chances that we take (and the chances that we)
There's a dream
Yeah yey yeah In the future There's a struggle
That we have yet to win
Use that pride
In our hearts To lift us up
Until tomorrow 'Cause just to sit still Would be a sin

I know it, i know it
I know where i'm going

Miss Maybelle
Lord knows i know.. Where i've been

Miss Maybelle & ENSEMBLE
Oh! When we win, I'll give thanks to my god 'Cause i know where i've been!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tired, tired and MORE tired...

I am really sore and really exhausted. Any suggestions to alleviate said symptoms?! And no, sleep is not really an option at this point. My car is falling apart and I really need to get food... except I don't have much money and I need to make it last. Fix car or get food? That is the question. On another note, I splurged and bought the last book in one of my favorite series; it's called Inkdeath. Anyone ever heard of it? So far it's pretty good and I'm looking forward to finishing it. Last night, I babysat Micheyla and John and it was a lot of fun. John was kind of cranky, but he's teething, so it's understandable. I just LOVE taking care of him! He's SOOO cute! Oh and um.....let's see, what else? Errr......there's not much to tell. My life is REALLY boring right now and I feel like I'm just repeating myself. Although, I really want to try my hand at rice pudding, but I don't think I have all of the ingredients...gah....

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Today, continued......

You'll never guess what happened to me at church. I got wrangled (well, not really wrangled) into teaching sunbeams! Phew! I thought it would never end. The kids were super cute and pretty much well behaved, but they just have the attention span of a fruit fly! lol ha ha

And drumroll please......I think i have pretty much all together figured out what I'm going to change my major to. When I was talking to my mum she suggested that maybe the reason why I wasn't getting any answers from my prayers is because maybe I already had the answer; I just wasn't seeing it. I hope this is the right thing to do. I'm not going to change it right away though; I'm going to pray about it first and probably wait to change it until the end of the semester. Let's hope that after I do this, everything else will fall into place and I'll know just what to do and what things to forget about and what things I need to worry about.

Weekend with the Family

I was a little reluctant at first to come home to do homework, but I'm glad I did. I was able to talk with my mum about some things and I've put a few things into perspective, for which I'm grateful for. I'm still on the verge of having the last of my grey matter leak out of my ears, but what the heck. Life goes on. I'm just about to go off to church with my mum and Piper.

My job today is to take Piper to sunbeams. Oh joy. lol We'll see how that goes. She's been sick lately and she's still really cranky and just about everything makes her upset! I will try and update later today, so I'm signing off! I salute you!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I need to get out of here...where the heck are my ruby red slippers?!

Hello all...some blogger I am...posting every week or every few days. Things have just been super busy and super hectic and once again, I am becoming so stir crazy that everything anyone does drives me crazy and I'm just about ready to throw in the towel and live like Gandhi in India. Just think......don't have to worry about balancing school and social life, I won't need to eat, and I definitely won't need to worry about showering or buying unnecessary toiletries because I will have shaved my head! Doesn't that sound like SO much fun?!

Well, considering my situation right now, it looks pretty darn good. I am at my wit's end here people; if any of you have any ideas on how I can keep my sanity and which path i need to start on in life, then by all means, OPEN UP YOUR PIE HOLE!!! I am DESPERATE beyond all reason. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am on the verge ladies and gentlemen; I am on the precipice, teetering back and forth on my toes, ready to close my eyes and leap into the unknown. And I definitely don't want to leap into the unknown flying by the seat of my pants.

Just...I'm at my breaking point. If anything I need reassurance from something, from someone, from anyone. I need some direction and I feel like for some reason, even though I'm praying about all of this, I'm not getting any answers and maybe I need to choose something before God can help me deal with it. the only problem is that I have no idea what to choose or how to figure out how to choose it. I'm flailing here......

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Lovely Weekend!

Sorry I haven't written in a while. Things have been hectic, but I'm a lot happier and really exhausted. I went shopping with my roommate Jordyn, and that was tons of fun. I should go shopping with her more often; she keeps me in line and keeps me from spending too much! I am a major shop-a-holic and today was my release! lol I bought a lot at Bath and Body works; it was a buy three get three free deal! Yay! And I got some new church shoes, which I was sorely in need of! My ballet flats that I have now I have had since I was a sophomore in high school and they are peeling apart at the soles! Hmm....not much else to tell. I will definitely write more tomorrow, when my brain is working faster. I salute you!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Shot in the Butt......not at all how I pictured my day ending!

Getting a shot in the butt is number one, really painful, and number two, really embarrassing. I myself NEVER look at my butt, let alone pull my pants down for someone else to see it and stick a needle in it!!! OUCH!

Onto other more pleasant things, my day was BLERGH to say the least. I could scream out a few choice expletives, but if I did, you'd probably think i was raised on a pirate ship and not in suburban England and a po-dunk town called Rigby, Idaho. Hmm, what else can I say? i really have nothing else to tell. BUT I am going to go shopping on saturday! HURRAH! It's just what I need. Now I just have to tell myself a rough estimate of what I can spend...other wise I could end up blowing my whole checking account on dresses, books and shoes. I'm signing off to go enjoy my pain killers. I salute you!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Happier...or at least getting there.

My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee
Text and Music by Rob Gardner
For a little while
Have I forsaken thee;
But with great mercies will I gather thee.
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee
For a moment.
But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings,
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!
Though thine afflictions seem
At times too great to bear,
I know thine every thought and every care.
And though the very jaws
Of hell gape after thee I am with thee.
And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee,
And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
Though the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
Know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!
How long can rolling waters
Remain impure?
What pow'r shall stay the hand of God?
The Son of Man hath descended below all things.
Art thou greater than He?
So hold on thy way,
For I shall be with thee.
And mine angels shall encircle thee.
Doubt not what thou knowest,
Fear not man, for he
Cannot hurt thee.
And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!"

Take a Look Through my Eyes
There are things in life you'll learn and in time you'll see, cause out there somewhere it's all waiting, If you keep believing.

So don't run, don't hide; It will be all right. You'll see, trust me, I'll be there watching over you.

Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes, everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find, If you look through my eyes.

There will be times on this journey, all you'll see is darkness.

Out there somewhere daylight finds you, if you keep believing.

So don't run, don't hide, it will be all right. You'll see, trust me, I'll be there watching over you.

Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes; Everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find if you look through my eyes.

All the things that you can change,there's a meaning in everything, and you will find all you need.

There's so much to understand, just take a look through my eyes.

There's a better place somewhere out there.

Just take a look through my eyes; Everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find if you look through my eyes.

Take a look through my eyes.

-Phil Collins

I had a sort of a breakdown yesterday in front of one of my roommates yesterday about not being able to turn my brain off, about worrying about too many things, etc. and today I feel a lot better. I'm definitely going to try and go somewhere this weekend to clear my head. It's so obvious; that's what I needed to do the whole time to get everything sorted out. I'll go away for a couple of days, clear my head, and come look at everything with a fresh, clean slate. I feel better just talking about it and Iknow that will help.

Onto other news, I took my social dance midterm today on the foxtrot and it was out of ninety-five points...and I got a ninety-five! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I was going to do the midterm on swing, but I'm glad that I decided not to. I also got to talk to Piper on the phone and it was just about the cutest thing ever. She wanted to talk to me after she figured out my mum did! ha ha

I might update later today, depending on how the day goes and how much homework I have, but until then, I'm going to go take a nap! I salute you!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Musings of the inner workings of my brain......

"God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." -Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"I believe in Christ; he stands supreme! From him I'll gain my fondest dream; and while I strive through grief and pain , His voice is heard, 'Ye shall obtain.' I believe in Christ; so come what may, with Him I'll stand, in that great day. When on this earth He comes again to rule among the sons of men."

I've been thinking a lot......which is bad because my brain is working overdrive anyway. I keep thinking about WAY too many things at once; I can't get my brain to give me a break. Any ideas anyone? I'm having trouble having faith in God's plan; that what He's told me really will come true, that I can have a happy fairytale-esque ending, that it is possible for me if only I believe in myself and the plan He has for me. But what he's told me seems just too good to be true, you know? I can't fathom that what I really and truly desperately want deep within myself is possible for me. It just seems like a plot I've made up in one of my LDS Romance novels, not an actual possibility for my life.

I also feel this pressing need to decide on a career path and stay there. Something important that's going to happen to me is looming on the horizon, I can feel it, and I feel like I need to be prepared and I feel like deciding definitely on a career is part of that preparation. One thing is for sure though, these coming months are going to be defining ones. These coming months are going to be the ones that will affect the rest of my life; the ones that will ultimately decide my future and I can only hope and pray that I make the right decisions. God has something amazing in store for me and I'm going to try and do everything I can to be prepared for it.

Oh yeah, and P.S. I NEED to get out of Idaho! I am going to go completely stark raving mad if I don't! I feel like I need a change of atmosphere. I feel stifled. I need a change of scenery, a chance to recharge my batteries. I'm surrounded by the typical "Mormon" steryotype all the time; I'm surrounded by it when I'm living at home in Rigby and then it comes at me from all sides, ten fold, when I'm up at school in Rexburg. I need to see things from a different point of view and to not feel like a sinner when I look at something differently.I need a trip out of state! Anyone want to drive to Salt Lake City next weekend? ANYONE?!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

First Post! WOOHOO!

"So if you care to find me Look to the western sky! As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!" And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who'd ground me, take a message back from me! Tell them how I am Defying gravity! I'm flying high, Defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown, and nobody in all of Oz, No Wizard that there is or was, Is ever gonna bring me down! "

No matter what I do with my life, it is going to be something brilliant. Whether I make it all the way to Broadway and show my talents to the world, finish my degree and teach theatre or glee or I get married in the temple, have a career :) and have a whole mess of wonderful, beautiful, intelligent children that would make the Duggar's green with envy. Whatever I do, I will do it with pride.

Now, the only thing left to do is to figure out what God wants me to do, and to follow whatever He has in store for me. I will pray and ponder and soldier on with life and do whatever is asked of me. I have the tools I need to succeed and I will do whatever I can to figure out what my divine destiny is.