Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Book of Love

                True love. What does that mean? To you? To your family and friends? To the world? To be quite honest, I truly think and believe that it means something different to every individual who is lucky enough to encounter it. I also think that if you’re very blessed and fortunate, you can experience it more than once. The idea of soul-mates is a lovely one, but not something I really believe in. I know (from experience), that there are at least a handful of “right” people out there that you could build your life with. Each experience would be different, but you would be just as happy with one as you would with one of the others. And if by some chance, your relationship with one of these people doesn't work out, if it crashes and burns, does not mean by any stretch of the imagination, that it wasn't true and right and wonderful and what you were supposed to be doing at that point in time. We need to remember that each person has their free agency; that that particular fact is what makes true love so beautiful in the first place.

                Roughly three months ago, at the beginning of March, I met a man I was supposed to marry. We were happy and blessed, and in complete awe that we had found each other under such strange circumstances. Despite the challenges we faced and the opposition we received, especially from our family, we made it through because we knew what we were doing was the right thing; that we would continue to be blessed for our faithfulness. We loved each other and we were excited to get married and start our new lives with one another. We threw ourselves into frenzied wedding preparations; I bought my wedding gown and made arrangements for alterations and called the temple and scheduled our sealing, he made a budget, paid bills, and started looking at options for our honeymoon and for our apartment. We shared our dreams, hopes, and fears with one another and kept moving forward towards August.

                But, just a mere two days after he met my entire family at Easter dinner, he came to my door ashen faced and told me that it was over. Midst the shock, pain, and disbelief, I felt anger, sadness, and disappointment. I was hurt. I was frustrated. And more than anything I wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled; until I could knock some sense into him and rid him of the lies and deceit that Satan had filled him with through friends and family. I knew deep in my heart and soul that we were supposed to get married; that we were right for each other. I couldn't believe that he had let his thoughts get so warped that he would forget not only the answers that he got, but the answers I got, and the ones that we got together. I couldn't believe that he had forgotten the significance and importance of all the blessings we had received since making the decision to get married.

                It wasn't until weeks later that I realized that his decisions and actions didn't change the fact that our marriage was right. His actions didn't suddenly nullify our answers and make our decisions together meaningless, our time together worthless. If we had gotten married, it still would have been the right thing to do and we would have been happy, of that I am certain. He had his agency. And I had mine. I guess what I’m trying to say is, is that this man was just one of my right options that Heavenly Father has in store for me. Just because it didn't work out with this particular man, doesn't mean that it won’t work with another of Heavenly Father’s choices.

                Love is multi-faceted. Each experience that each person in the world has is different. No two love stories are alike. These facts are what make love so beautiful, individual, and incredible. As a daughter or son of God, we have endless potential and because of that, our lives have endless possibilities just waiting for us to reach out and take them.

                 Just because this version of a Happily Ever After didn't work for me, doesn't mean that I won’t still get one. I am not bitter because of my broken engagement and cancelled wedding, on the contrary, I am grateful and hopeful. I am grateful and hopeful because I got to experience true love and when it comes along next time, I will be able to recognize it and appreciate it and value it that much more a second time around. I know that it is possible. It is not a dream. It’s real and it’s out there.

                I beg of you to be open to all of the possibilities that life has to offer you, most especially when it comes to love and making decisions that will affect the rest of your life. Even if the possibility seems so incredible and ridiculous, such as encountering someone you haven’t been with in a couple of years, reach out and take it. You take that possibility and you run with it, knowing that God will have your back the entire way; having faith that you can love again because you did it once before.

There is more behind what happened between he and I on that day, and there are other reasons he had for doing what he did, but I felt that it was only necessary to share enough information to give you an idea of what happened.