Monday, September 3, 2012

A rant, if you please.

Ok ya'll, this is just a random rant and with that in mind, I want you to also keep the above post on your little check list as you read this.

When it comes to relationships, men need to keep in mind that with me, they're probably getting more than they bargained for. Because of how I have been treated in past relationships, because of my abusive childhood, I am...and I hate to say this...I am extremely high maintenance. I am very needy and I need constant reassurance about my significant other's affections for me. I get scared easily, I get incredibly insecure and when that happens, my mind goes into over drive and pretty soon I've concocted up a horrible scenario in which the boy in question is a veritable Cowboy Casanova and I've convinced myself that all of the lovely things he's said to me were all to get me to give out my kisses like pretzels. If a man has made it far enough into my life that I have started to give my trust to him, them he needs to step it up and do all that he can to keep it that way! I know that sounds terrible and demanding, but that's just the way that I am. My past has made me who I am today, but with that comes a few things that make relationships difficult. I have been used, abused and ripped up one side and down the other and made to feel smaller and more insignificant than any girl should ever have to feel. In my relationships, I need to feel like I matter and that I'm special and valuable and worthwhile. I need to be made to feel like the daughter of God that I am and I don't think that's too much to ask.