Sunday, February 7, 2010

Musings of the inner workings of my brain......

"God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." -Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"I believe in Christ; he stands supreme! From him I'll gain my fondest dream; and while I strive through grief and pain , His voice is heard, 'Ye shall obtain.' I believe in Christ; so come what may, with Him I'll stand, in that great day. When on this earth He comes again to rule among the sons of men."

I've been thinking a lot......which is bad because my brain is working overdrive anyway. I keep thinking about WAY too many things at once; I can't get my brain to give me a break. Any ideas anyone? I'm having trouble having faith in God's plan; that what He's told me really will come true, that I can have a happy fairytale-esque ending, that it is possible for me if only I believe in myself and the plan He has for me. But what he's told me seems just too good to be true, you know? I can't fathom that what I really and truly desperately want deep within myself is possible for me. It just seems like a plot I've made up in one of my LDS Romance novels, not an actual possibility for my life.

I also feel this pressing need to decide on a career path and stay there. Something important that's going to happen to me is looming on the horizon, I can feel it, and I feel like I need to be prepared and I feel like deciding definitely on a career is part of that preparation. One thing is for sure though, these coming months are going to be defining ones. These coming months are going to be the ones that will affect the rest of my life; the ones that will ultimately decide my future and I can only hope and pray that I make the right decisions. God has something amazing in store for me and I'm going to try and do everything I can to be prepared for it.

Oh yeah, and P.S. I NEED to get out of Idaho! I am going to go completely stark raving mad if I don't! I feel like I need a change of atmosphere. I feel stifled. I need a change of scenery, a chance to recharge my batteries. I'm surrounded by the typical "Mormon" steryotype all the time; I'm surrounded by it when I'm living at home in Rigby and then it comes at me from all sides, ten fold, when I'm up at school in Rexburg. I need to see things from a different point of view and to not feel like a sinner when I look at something differently.I need a trip out of state! Anyone want to drive to Salt Lake City next weekend? ANYONE?!

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