Despite how my situation in life is right now, I feel surprisingly, almost eerily calm about everything. I know special things are in store for me and I can feel them gathering. This year has been one of the hardest I've ever had to go through. I've been in and out of the hospital with bizzare medical problems, had extreme trouble with finances, extreme trouble with school, and Satan has been doing everything in his power to bring me down. And things still are bad. But do you know what this tells me? That I am and was being prepared for something; something important that will affect the rest of my life.
I am READY for whatever God has planned for me. I am ready to go down whatever path He has laid out for me, no matter the cost. Because in the end, I know what's really important.
Even though things seem dark, I know I can't give up because I'm the key to all that's going to happen to me. I am NOT the only one that matters here. If I fall, who knows how many generations I will affect? Without me, the futures of many are at stake and I will be the one that has to answer to the consequences.
Pray always and be believing. Listen to the Holy Ghost, Christ and Heavenly Father. They will NEVER lead you astray. Have faith, be strong; things will work out. All trials work together for our good. Never forget it.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Self Esteem and Body Image Issues
I definitely know I'm not the only one with self esteem and body image issues, so I'm going to address the issue head on, no matter how painful or awkward.
Do you ever have those days where you don't want to look in the mirror, you don't want to try on your cutest outfit and you don't want to get out of the house, purely because you feel that the image you see in the mirror doesn't live up to the one in your head? Do you ever hold yourself back when you see a cute guy, the little voice in your head saying you don't stand a chance? I do. I have them all the time. Being and knowing that we are strong, beautiful, confident women has been harder and harder lately when all we see on t.v., in movies and in magazines are who are airbrushed, skinny and bikini clad; women whose appeareances are entirely unrealistic. No wonder we have issues!
But at one point in time, we're all going to have to accept that God made us look different for a purpose and if anyone knows what they're doing, its Him. True, we may want that perfect J-Lo butt (I have one and trust me girls, it's not all its cracked up to be), that anorexic thin waistline, bigger/smaller chests, smaller hips, smaller thighs, smaller everything. We pick and pick at every little minute detail in our reflection until we're a sobbing heap on the floor, fed up with trying because we've deluded ourselves into thinking there's no point in trying anymore. And even though I don't yet believe this about myself, I'm here to tell it to you.
You are a daughter of God, a future wife and a future mother, a sister and a friend. One day soon, a man will look into your eyes and want you to be the person he spends the rest of his life with; you are the person he wants to laugh with, cry with, and care for through the eternities. One day soon your "imperfect" stomach and "wide" hips will carry a child and one day soon, you will hold that child in your arms and they will look at you with loving, adoring eyes. You will be their world.
So every time you look into the mirror and that ugly, little voice rears its head, you turn those comments on their backsides; they have no place in a mind and body, in a temple, such as yours.
And no, to answer your question, I have not yet gotten to this point; but I am getting there. Each and every day I struggle, but I am struggling upwards. And one day, soon I hope, I will look into the mirror and finally believe those wonderful things I say to myself each day.
Do you ever have those days where you don't want to look in the mirror, you don't want to try on your cutest outfit and you don't want to get out of the house, purely because you feel that the image you see in the mirror doesn't live up to the one in your head? Do you ever hold yourself back when you see a cute guy, the little voice in your head saying you don't stand a chance? I do. I have them all the time. Being and knowing that we are strong, beautiful, confident women has been harder and harder lately when all we see on t.v., in movies and in magazines are who are airbrushed, skinny and bikini clad; women whose appeareances are entirely unrealistic. No wonder we have issues!
But at one point in time, we're all going to have to accept that God made us look different for a purpose and if anyone knows what they're doing, its Him. True, we may want that perfect J-Lo butt (I have one and trust me girls, it's not all its cracked up to be), that anorexic thin waistline, bigger/smaller chests, smaller hips, smaller thighs, smaller everything. We pick and pick at every little minute detail in our reflection until we're a sobbing heap on the floor, fed up with trying because we've deluded ourselves into thinking there's no point in trying anymore. And even though I don't yet believe this about myself, I'm here to tell it to you.
You are a daughter of God, a future wife and a future mother, a sister and a friend. One day soon, a man will look into your eyes and want you to be the person he spends the rest of his life with; you are the person he wants to laugh with, cry with, and care for through the eternities. One day soon your "imperfect" stomach and "wide" hips will carry a child and one day soon, you will hold that child in your arms and they will look at you with loving, adoring eyes. You will be their world.
So every time you look into the mirror and that ugly, little voice rears its head, you turn those comments on their backsides; they have no place in a mind and body, in a temple, such as yours.
And no, to answer your question, I have not yet gotten to this point; but I am getting there. Each and every day I struggle, but I am struggling upwards. And one day, soon I hope, I will look into the mirror and finally believe those wonderful things I say to myself each day.
"I am beautiful, smart, strong and courageous. I am a future wife and a future mother. I am a daughter of God. I am a sister and a friend. I am of infinite worth."
Inspirational Songs and Quotes:
Firework- Katy Perry
Far Away- Ingrid Michaelson
Beautiful You- Jonny Diaz
Before the Morning- Josh Wilson
Hold Me- Jonny Diaz
What Love Really Means- J.J. Heller
Breath of Heaven- Amy Grant
I cannot find my way- Michael Mclean (From the Forgotten Carols)
"Our deepest fear"- Marianne Williamson
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
"What if God was one of us?"
Why is it so hard? I AM trying....When you want something so much it hurts and it's so cruelly out of reach. Or even worse, it's so tantalizingly close you can taste it and almost touch it, and it's just barely out of reach. And it's worse even still, when the current life situation you're in makes you wish for it and want it that much more. And it breaks your heart in two knowing there's a very real possibility that it might not happen, and then you'll never get out and you will be there always, living with the memory of what you have lost.
Prayers and scripture study are life savers in situations like this. I only hope I can keep the faith...
Prayers and scripture study are life savers in situations like this. I only hope I can keep the faith...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Beauty Essentials.
Well, I'm bored and that's usually what happens when I make a post. lol So, here it goes. Here are some of my beauty essentials that I could not live without!!!
1. Clean and Clear Morning Burst Face Wash
2. Clearasil Overnight Face Wash
3. Neautrogena Moisturizer for combination skin
4. Burt's Bees Chapstick
5. Straight Solution (Protects hair from all damage due to heat styling appliances. Plus, it makes my hair silky soft and smooth.)
6. Aussie Three Minute Miracle Conditioning Treatment ( I can live without this, I just REALLY like it. ha ha)
7. Loreal mineral foundation powder
8. blow dryer (I have a lot of long, very thick hair. Air drying is a luxury I can't afford sometimes. ha ha )
9. French Braids (These NEVER go out of style. They give you a cute hairstyle after getting out of the shower and provide a new hair-do the next day when you take them out and have lovely waves!)
Okay, I'm done. Love you all...whichever nutcases are actually reading this random depressing blog.
1. Clean and Clear Morning Burst Face Wash
2. Clearasil Overnight Face Wash
3. Neautrogena Moisturizer for combination skin
4. Burt's Bees Chapstick
5. Straight Solution (Protects hair from all damage due to heat styling appliances. Plus, it makes my hair silky soft and smooth.)
6. Aussie Three Minute Miracle Conditioning Treatment ( I can live without this, I just REALLY like it. ha ha)
7. Loreal mineral foundation powder
8. blow dryer (I have a lot of long, very thick hair. Air drying is a luxury I can't afford sometimes. ha ha )
9. French Braids (These NEVER go out of style. They give you a cute hairstyle after getting out of the shower and provide a new hair-do the next day when you take them out and have lovely waves!)
Okay, I'm done. Love you all...whichever nutcases are actually reading this random depressing blog.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It is 1:44 am and I cannot for the life of me figure out why I am still up......
I cannot turn myself off! I keep going and going and going and going! I'm not really tired; I'm a little sleepy, sure, but who isn't 99% of the time, anyway? I have made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (on corn tortillas with plum jam. Not the same thing, I know, but still.), made a HUGE batch of chicken salad with green onions and celery (not really the way I like to eat it, but as we didn't have red grapes or cashews, that option was obviously out.), watched Adam Sandler's Bedtime Stories (You know that weird English guy with the bad teeth and hair that is his best friend? Any other time he drives me crazy, but he makes me laugh in this movie.) and fooled around on the internet until....1:49 am. Help.... I can't turn myself off......
Friday, August 13, 2010
MARYLAND!!! The trip!!!
Maryland is pretty much the most awesome thing EVER! We've gone to the beach and gotten hyper off of brownies and large amounts of sugary things, spent hours in borders and doneother very top secret things which you aren't allowed to known until I've debriefed everyone. ha ha Anyways, just wanted to update!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
MARYLAND!
My trip is in three days! I am SOOOO excited, but I've still got a ton of things to do before Tuesday morning...finishing packing, arranging my carry-on, picking up prescriptions, etc... urgh...BUT on the brightside I will be getting out of Idaho for two whole GLORIOUS weeks! What could be better than that?
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