Friday, June 12, 2015

Waiting for Superman

Isn't that what every single girl, young or old, eventually dreams of? A Prince Charming or a dashing Superman to come and sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset of her future dreams?

Well, I'm here to tell you that it usually doesn't turn out that way. Unfortunately, most of the time they come as an abuser, deadbeat, jerk, or heart-breaker in Prince Charming or Superman's clothing. And that's when the ugly work begins. Us poor things, we have all had those times where we were completely blindsided by these circumstances thinking that it was OUR fault that the relationship ended the way it did, even if we weren't the ones that ended it.

All through our adolescent and young adult lives, we have turned ourselves inside out searching for our Superman because of our own expectations or even more cruelly, because of the expectations of others. And I am here to tell you that it is time to STOP.

You are worth SO much more than being made to feel like are a stupid, uncaring, worthless failure because you aren't able to fulfill certain divinely appointed roles at this moment in time. It is OK to be single.It is OK to LOVE being single. It is OK to pursue more education. It is OK to travel, and to learn, and to better yourself just because you want to.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of this and you should tell whoever thinks otherwise to go stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Since when did they have any say in how you lived your life?! The answer? NEVER! It is absolutely none of their dang business.

So do you know what? You go take that trip to Ecuador to go help underprivileged children. You get that Masters degree in Political Science and International Studies. Move to New York City and break into Broadway.You go write the next great American novel. Go buy your own home. Go and be that foster mother to be a parent to children who don't have anyone in the world to call their own. Go and live your dreams. You do YOU. You do not need a man to make you feel like you are of worth and that your life is of value. You can be absolutely fabulous all on your very own and it is time that you start feeling like that is ok to do.

Now, I should be one to talk, because I don't feel like this yet, but I am working on it. I am working on being my own brand of fabulous and working on knowing deep down in the far recesses of my soul that I am and can be of worth without a man to make it so.

My final words to you are this: BE the Princess Charming or Superwoman that you KNOW deep down that you are. Whoever said that you couldn't? And then only if it strikes your fancy, you go rescue that poor idiot of a future husband who got himself stuck in a tree.

You don't need to wait for your Superman. You can be your own.


  1. You asked for comments, here you go. Not all of my thoughts mesh well, but sometimes I like not making sense. It seems to me that even when people find their Prince Charming or Superman that they have unrealistic views of how their Prince Charming should be and unrealistic expectations of how life will be after that. Maybe it is because some people are naive or have based their views from what they see/hear in the media. Some people tend to think everything from then on out will be rainbows and roses, but don’t realize that we are all human and we all have our flaws. Unfortunately, some relationships we get in we are blindsided and don’t notice the danger that others looking in can see. I like that you mentioned the expectations of others. Even from a young age we are told certain things about ourselves that when told over and over again we start to believe it. If you think about it, what do we tell young girls? “You are beautiful! Look how pretty you look!”, etc. We should be telling them other good qualities besides this. I often wonder if this is why some people are so vain and struggle to see the potential of what they can do because they don’t know what other good qualities they have or if they fear having kids because of how their outer appearance will change. I know that one of the hardest trials I have faced was trying to be strong and do what I thought was right when I felt like I wasn’t living up to other peoples’ expectations. When you feel like you are alone, misunderstood, and judged by others it is incredibly difficult to keep going and to keep showing your face and smiling. It was during such a time that I tried to acknowledge and gather strength from what I did know to be true and being around those that supported me. Steph, I like reading the words you write and speaking with you in person because to me, you have always seemed strong and confident and you help others be more confident in themselves and give them strength. Even when you yourself aren’t doing well I have still seen you lift those around you up. It is an admirable trait you have. You have been one of the most caring friends that I know. The last two sentences of this post made me smile.