Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Discovery

Dude...I'm married. Can you believe it?! After all the crazy crap I've been through, I finally have someone to be my partner, to be my equal; someone to help me through life's ups and downs. It's a bit of a strange feeling. I kinda actually feel like a grown up now.

Being a housewife for the past (almost) five weeks has caused me to have a lot of different thoughts on how to best spend my time and how to manage my illnesses at the same time. There's a delicate balance between being active and over-doing it. As a 26 year old married woman with a bachelor's degree, I have not yet mastered the art of that balance. Seems funny, right?

This is what I have discovered so far. Naps. Naps are my friend. When I'm really feeling my anxiety/depression or a migraine hits me like a pile of bricks, a nap is just the thing to help me manage. It helps me to cope and usually, helps me to kick whatever I'm struggling with in the keister.

Notebooks, cookbooks, and daily planners have been an absolute life saver. Not only do these things occupy me and help me to find ways to be frugal and save money for my new, little family, but they help me to feel useful which is something people with chronic illnesses struggle with on a daily basis. Being unable to work is one of the biggest struggles I've had to deal with. Parts of my self-worth link directly to being able to contribute to society and being able to use what I've studied and worked so hard for; being able to use my creativity and passions to better the space around me. SO,in short, meal planning and writing have helped me to be able to tap into that powerhouse of knowledge that exists within me. It feels amazing to be able to use it for something. It's not just existing within me anymore. It's living. 

Number three. Harry Potter. Yes, yes, I know this sounds a little bit silly and cliche, but it is totally and absolutely true. Re-reading the Harry Potter Series has helped me to have hope. It has helped me to remember that even in the darkest of times, when it seems that all hope is lost, all one has to do is turn on the light. It has helped me to treasure my friendships and relationships even more so than usual and has helped me to realize that if I need help, all I need to do is ask. Reading the illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets has helped me to see the beauty and strength and hope even in the ugliest of situations. It has helped me tap into that truest part of me.

If you're having a hard time and things seem to be crashing down around your ears, I'm so sorry. I wish that there was something I could do to help you. I can only hope that what I've written here will give you the strength you need to keep on going today; to put one foot in front of the other.

Fear not, for God is with you in every step of your journey.

Much love and support,

Stephanie Ann Rochette

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